Forget scientist: how about this…

Me: I’ve just thought how to save you loads of money!

Shaun [waking up suddenly]: How?

Me: Buy up all the red roses on Monday morning.

Shaun [drifting back off]: That’s a good idea! I didn’t think of that…

What a genius I am.

Let’s just roll this out for a minute, shall we:

Give Christmas presents on 3rd or 4th day of Christmas, instead of Christmas Day.

Hmm: we do that anyway. Mostly because everyone in the family jumps on Amazon on Christmas Eve. Doesn’t seem to have made us very rich yet.

Instead, we just pay premium postage.

Mothering Sunday card on Mothering Monday. That should save a bit, right?

Except that cards are such two dimensional, flat items, I expect the card shops just put them away till next year.

In any case, they all say “Happy Mother’s Day” now, which is so like a nail across a blackboard to me that my children all know to stay well clear if they get me a card with any such wording and only Ben does it – I’d like to say out of witty irony but actually because he’s a lot bigger than me.

Last year I think it was even, Happy Mums’ Day, but he had to write that on himself because even Clinton’s isn’t that tacky.

The principle, however, is sound. 

Buy when demand is low. Eny ful no that.

All right, how about giving me my birthday present late… or wedding anniversary…

Oh, wait.

* * * * *

Come back, Day Job: all is forgiven.

Um…

Can’t remember what my Day Job is.

Photographer, maybe?